Understanding Passive Suicidality: How Therapy Can Help
In a recent episode of Therapists in the Hot Seat, we spoke with Ron Yap, a therapist and trainer who has worked extensively in the field of mental health. One of the most powerful parts of our discussion was around the concept of passive suicidality—a topic that is rarely spoken about, yet impacts many people in silence.
What Is Passive Suicidality?
When we talk about suicidality, most people think of active suicidal intent—making plans, considering methods, or preparing to act. But Ron highlighted another form that often goes unnoticed: passive suicidality.
This is when a person might not actively plan to end their life, but feels worn down by living. Thoughts like:
“I wish I wouldn’t wake up tomorrow.”
“Life just feels too heavy.”
“If something happened to me, maybe that would be okay.”
These thoughts are more common than people realise. And while they may not involve an immediate plan, Ron emphasised that they are still deeply painful and worthy of attention.
Why We Need to Talk About It
One of the challenges with passive suicidality is that it often gets dismissed—by the person experiencing it, by loved ones, or even by professionals. Because there isn’t an immediate crisis, people may think it doesn’t count as “serious.” But the reality is that mental health exists on a spectrum, and passive suicidality is a signal that someone is struggling and in need of support.
Ron explained that when people feel this way, they are often coping with overwhelming stress, depression, or unresolved trauma. Therapy provides a space to acknowledge those feelings without judgment and to explore healthier ways of coping.
The Role of Therapy
So how can therapy help with passive suicidality? Ron discussed several approaches, including:
CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) – helps people identify unhelpful thinking patterns that fuel hopelessness, and replace them with more balanced perspectives.
ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) – focuses on learning to live alongside difficult thoughts and feelings, while moving towards values-based actions.
Integrative Therapy – allows therapists to draw from multiple models, tailoring the approach to what each person needs.
Through therapy, people can begin to see that their thoughts don’t define them and that it’s possible to build a more meaningful life even when pain is present.
Moving Towards Hope
A central theme Ron emphasised was the idea of hope. For many people experiencing passive suicidality, hope feels out of reach. Therapy can help to:
Create a space where those thoughts can be spoken aloud safely
Break down overwhelming challenges into manageable steps
Identify sources of meaning, purpose, and connection
Strengthen coping strategies for moments of crisis
Ron also highlighted that recovery doesn’t always mean making the thoughts disappear completely. Instead, the goal is to learn to live alongside them while still building a fulfilling life.
Why ACT and CBT Work Together
What was particularly striking in our conversation was how CBT and ACT complement each other. CBT gives people practical tools to challenge unhelpful thinking, while ACT helps them make space for the reality of human suffering without being consumed by it.
Together, these approaches support resilience and encourage people to take small, meaningful steps towards a life that feels worth living.
Final Thoughts
Passive suicidality may not always look like a crisis from the outside, but it represents deep suffering on the inside. By bringing it into the open, we can reduce stigma and create opportunities for healing. Therapy—whether through CBT, ACT, or an integrative approach—offers people a way to move towards hope, resilience, and meaning.
If you’ve ever experienced these kinds of thoughts, know that you are not alone and that support is available.
👉 Listen to the full conversation with Ron on Therapists in the Hot Seat. Follow us on Instagram and Spotify to hear more therapist-led discussions on mental health, or get in touch if you’d like to share your own experience.
